Body image starts in your head (Or: Getting over a fat day)

I'm off to Cape Town tomorrow.

Poor, poor me.
[Image source: runawaynow.com]

This has made my life quite hectic recently: finalising work in the hospital, choosing wine farms to tour in Stellenbosch, planning beach outfits - I know, hellish days in Africa. And all this hustle and bustle has been interspersed with brief periods of absolute panic. Panic, dear reader, brought about by the sight of my thighs when exposed to raw sunlight. Over the last few weeks I have been feeling like a puffer fish under permanent attack, and its not going to do my mood, or my vacation, any favours.

A little puffer fish that won't deflate.
[Image source: mauicharters.com]

Let's be honest. Fat days happen. I don't like the word "fat", but to be frank, some days you wake up and there, in the mirror, is Meat Loaf. With your eyes. It's alarming to say the least.

The facial expression is just about right too.
[Image source: ordinary-gentlemen.com]

Now, of course it's in your head. You know this already, I don't need to tell you that it is physically impossible to go up a dress size overnight. So you throw on your breeziest kaftan, tell yourself firmly that you're imagining things, and roll waft out the door to start your day.

The problem with it being "in your head" is that... it's in your head. And sugar, there ain't no escaping that head of yours. The way I see it, at this stage, you have three options: (1). Gently remove your head and leave it on your nightstand at home, (2). Drag yourself around like Eeyore, trying to avoid reflective surfaces,or (3). Sort your head out.

Where is your health on your list of priorities?

[Background image source: digital-photograpy-school.com]

A colleague and I were guest speakers at a school's health day today. Just as we were about to leave, one of the district health promoters  presented us each a big plate of food. Food that I would never have chosen for myself. There was an unspoken yet palpable expectation that we finish the meal.

It was a gesture of thanks, of hospitality, of generosity. It was lovely and I adore the intentions behind it. I wish I could thank her again, right now. However, one of the lingering remnants of my eating disorder is that I absolutely hate it when I am "forced" to eat food that I don't want. The mere expectation of having to eat food that I my body didn't ask for just about pushes me over the edge.

The body whisperer meditation

The title of this post is a bit embarrassing. It makes me feel like I should be wearing feathers in my hair and spending my nights listening to reed flute music while I dance in the woods. But bear with me. I have tried this out and it's quite a winner.

You don't always need a lake for meditation.
[Image source: toningtheom.com]

I am currently making my way through Martha Beck's 4-Day Win book. In general I am not a fan of weight loss or self-help books, but as I was about to throw this out of my bookshelf (I got it as a gift somewhere) I opened a page and it intrigued me. It looks at the psychological aspects of weight loss and why we struggle to lose weight healthily and permanently.